Cops On Heat

Cops on Heat (Murray Fahey, John Knowles, David Callan) at the Blue Room. © Dominica Corless, Feb 17 2001
Last Updated
Mar 22nd, 2001
Contributed by
Dominica Malcolm
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3 pictures

Cops on Heat is an improv comedy show put together by Murray Fahey, John Knowles, and David Callan. I saw the show four times in Perth and will probably see it three more times in Melbourne so I'll just talk about the shows that I got to see.

Now this show is obviously different every night, as it is improvised, though the set up is very similar. However, I did see a few changes to what they picked from the audience over the course of the week they were in Perth. It was basically because they were preparing it for the Melbourne Comedy Festival, where they're restricted to only 55 minutes maximum, for what was originally a 120 minute show. John Knowles plays the Rookie, Murray is Detective Mahoney, and David Callan is everyone else.

On the 18th of Feb, the rookie collected toothbrushes, and because they weren't allowed guns, his weapon was glad wrap. He, and Detective Mahoney, who was retiring in 3 days (because that's always the story), had to find out who was stealing Olympic cars from the drive through. The guy in forensics was obsessed with the TV show Baywatch, and didn't like cops, so the rookie and the detective had to pretend they were on Baywatch. This involved David Callan pretending to be Pamela Anderson - breasts and all.

On the 21st of Feb (that was a Wednesday) there wasn't really a big audience, so a fair bit of the show actually came from things said from my mouth. The rookie collected vibrators, thanks to me, though it didn't impress my mum too much. I can't remember what his weapon was though. My mum got to describe the suspect for David Callan to do the identikit picture of him. It was very amusing. Also on this night, The Detective liked wearing his wife's clothing - including her breasts. That was definitely hilarious.

On the 23rd of Feb, I had cancelled seeing Tripod to see this again, just because I thought it was worth it, and it was. It was the first night in a long time, years I think, that the three guys kept trying to do things to destroy the show and make it harder for each other. It started when someone in the audience told David that the clue the rookie and the detective had to find was a ripped off toenail. It must've been a very painful experience for all of them, especially since it was also filmed!

Aside from everything on the particular nights, they also always had a police chase (as all police shows do) and ended up knocking the bell tower in Barrack Square down every time. One of the highlights of the show!

The special show on the 25th of Feb:
This was a very special night indeed, it was the closing of Cops on Heat for the Perth Comedy Season, and so, the cast decided to have three special guests. The special guests were Perth improv and stand up comedian Glenn Hall, Certified Male's Russell Fletcher, and Mel Cantwell. This special show went for two hours, instead of one, and had an interval in the middle (which made the show even funnier because they had to do a quick replay of everything that happened in the first half!) The Rookie collected worms in this show, and this ended up involving a doctor checking his arse to see if he had those worms too! This night, the detective didn't even end up retiring when he was supposed to because they had a "three years later" time-lapse when the worms had to eat through a wall of shit that was keeping the detective and the rookie out of the bad guys hideout, all while the main bad guy ended up sleeping with one of his employees (a female) and having a baby with her. Russell Fletcher played a guy with a real bad Swedish accent and ended up dieing to save the evil boss. Glenn Hall and Mel Cantwell had to be kangaroos at some stage, while Russel was an emu. It definitely proved to be an interesting night, and I'm sure everyone who was there enjoyed themselves - including the performers of course.